Hogwarts Houses Analyzed
Hogwarts refers to a school of magic.
Channeled Song: “Rude” by MAGIC!
Interpretation: Hogwarts being an acronym for “Have Our Girls Wear A Real Tiny Skirt.” The truth you are owed is that they wanted to make them wear short skirts but did not want to be seen as cliché.
Gryffindor referred to a house that was represented by a lion.
Channeled Song: “Roar” by Katy Perry
Interpretation: Knowing that the Chosen One is a Leo.
Hufflepuff refers to a house that is represented by a badger.
Channeled Song: “Leave Me Alone” by Michael Jackson
Interpretation: The Chosen One wanting to be left alone.
Ravenclaw is represented by an eagle.
Channeled Song: “America” by Prince
Interpretation: The Chosen One living in America.
Slytherin is represented by a snake.
Channeled Song: “Cold Blooded” by Rick James
Interpretation: The Chosen One abandoned by family in a manner that seems cold blooded.
You will want to know that the Chosen One did two things that were considered miraculous for their family: they were able to put them on good financial standing for the rest of their life and were able to let them know indirectly that they had been the victims of a long-running scam. Instead of thanking this family member for their efforts, they responded in a way that was totally bizarre. The Chosen One was abandoned by family and made to believe that they had done something horrible to warrant the behavior. This was supposed to be seen as punishment for awakening them to the fact that they had been scammed for over 20 years. The Chosen One was slandered within an inch of their life and made to appear as if they were crazy. The Chosen One ended up taking up a platform that proved otherwise. These people are now being seen as the crazy ones and the Chosen One is now being seen as a prophet.
*Note: Harry Potter is an acronym for “Had A Really Rough Youth. Parents Often Took Turns Enacting Revenge.” You will want to know that the Chosen One grew up in an abusive and neglectful home. With that being said, they were seen as having raised children that were not their own.
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